BONADEI

Hearing your sobbing is the most difficult thing darling. Please forgive me. I know it is hard for us, especially for you. You love me and I am absolutely love you too. Tonight, I try to sleep, but I can not. Questions are shouting to me in silence. There are many things that I do not understand. I can not ensure my self whether this decision, which I have taken, is the best path or not. I do not know. Although I do not understand it my self, I hope you will understand some day. All that I want to be is being the best father for you and your brother. Both of you are my light. I am blind without you. You are my air. I can not breath without you. You are my soul. I am in hell without you. Sweetheart, I love you. Do you remember the time we play with Lego-blocks? In this life, I live my life, because of my in-capabilities, in a way like you play your lego. I often do not really know what I want to build or how to build it. I just put a brick on top of another, without really understand ...

It has been ten days since Iedul Fitri holiday. For those ten days, I have almost free my self from thinking about english, economics and other matters that have concerned me before. I have forgot about TOEFL score target, GRE vocabularies, etc. During those days, I have spent most of my time to handle my children's request, having great times with them, and tried to pay the time when I have to leave them. Although those activities have taken most of my time, my concern for macroeconomic issues, my prospective of scholarship and other non-personal matters was always there. During pouring hot water to the milk, I was still thinking about how many people cannot afford to buy milks for their children, or during commercial break during cartoon show I unintentionally still see points that I did not like in the media. There were many points that I wanted to discuss that happened during the holiday after I returned, but as I return now, I am kinds of forgetting most of them. Just guessi...