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Quite a Bit

It have been quite a bit we never talked, but we never really quit comprehending one another. Every single breath that I inhale is the way I tried to articulate my feelings and thoughts. Thus, you do not have to feel empty, I am still here for you; though my existence is much farther in space than before. You should not worry, you are in my head and soul and heart and blood and lung and thoughts all the time.

Today and several late days, I have been rarely thinking. I have involved with dreams about you and the kids. I enjoyed those dreams, more than you could imagine of, but I was scared to wake from them. These enjoyments of dreaming, and the scares of waking-finding out what a space between us, have prevented me from thinking. when I was awake, I would weep, but not thinking; I would scream, but not thinking; I would be delirious, I would be humorous, I would be presumptuous, I would be nervous. I would stay silent for the whole day with my nerves, thinking about nothing.

Though so, do not worry, I am fine. I am very well. I can carry the burden, because I do not think. I can feel, I can be sad, I can be longing the kids very much, I can be missing you to death, but I am OK. I can survive because I can stop thinking. Thus, please do not ask me to think. I do not know what to think, and I cannot think. Stop questioning, I am not thinking.

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