tapi senyummu tak ada

ku ingin tangis,
air mata hanya buat jumpa

aku ingin tawa
tapi senyummu tak ada

aku ingin cerita,
tapi aku tak disana.

aku ingin berkaca,
tapi bening matamu dimana.

aku ingin bicara,
tapi cerita punya kita.

aku ingin dekap,
tapi peluk dipasung hampa.

aku tak tau kemana
kau selalu ada

desah mu
gelisahku

dukamu
hampaku

rindu
harapku

pagi tadi ku ambil genggaman parang,
machete kutempelkan di nadi waktu,
ku ayun semarahku,
ku tebas batang jemu
ku tetak rawan jaman
ku libas, ku beringas, ku naas

menggigil ku di gigit dingin
lima pagi duduk sendiri
tangan kaku
bilah jari pilu
dimata hanya abu
anganku di serbu senyummu

raung rindu ku jemu
haram ku tahan
pelukmu ku perlu

Comments

Directing Development

Definition of Economic Development in the Britannica Online Encyclopedia can be resumed as a process where low-income national economies are transformed into modern industrial economies through a change in a country’s economy involving qualitative as well as quantitative improvements. This issue is always a central issue in every underdeveloped nation. Almost all government related issues, lets say politics, defense, security, are usually in any way connected to it. Reasons are clear; economic problems are the burden peoples face every day. The study in this field is enormous. It is usual that material portion of government spending is spent in this field. The problem is that some time these attention and effort consuming activity results failure to most, or at least leaves an uncovered space in the society, that is wide welfare gap. Although some time the economy grows, but social condition becomes unstable. Reason behind it is that sometimes economic development focus too much to t...

A Little Note to the Light

Hearing your sobbing is the most difficult thing darling. Please forgive me. I know it is hard for us, especially for you. You love me and I am absolutely love you too. Tonight, I try to sleep, but I can not. Questions are shouting to me in silence. There are many things that I do not understand. I can not ensure my self whether this decision, which I have taken, is the best path or not. I do not know. Although I do not understand it my self, I hope you will understand some day. All that I want to be is being the best father for you and your brother. Both of you are my light. I am blind without you. You are my air. I can not breath without you. You are my soul. I am in hell without you. Sweetheart, I love you. Do you remember the time we play with Lego-blocks? In this life, I live my life, because of my in-capabilities, in a way like you play your lego. I often do not really know what I want to build or how to build it. I just put a brick on top of another, without really understand ...

Reconciliation

Last August 11 is my 6th anniversary. Congratulation to me! Yet, sadly this is the second consecutive year I cannot celebrate it properly. This year just as last year, I was separated by distance from my wife, and I cannot pass it. Thus, besides bringing grateful feeling of the six years of blessings as man and wife, with two light of Kiran and Sadeq in my little heaven, this anniversary also makes me blue. This year August 11 falls at Saturday. Here in Syracuse, NY it delays 11 hours after one in Indonesia. Under my unintended ignorance, I that was waiting to say "happy anniversary" to my wife forgot that it was already 11 in Indonesia. So, I had to said that after she reminded me. It was annoying. I was waiting for it, and this earth spinning mechanism tricked me. Today, I was also tricked by the time. After early breakfast at 4.00 AM in the morning, I fall asleep just after 4.40 AM. I woke up around 8.50 ...

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